Espada of Destiny
by TheLostEspada
Summary: The events ensuing after Neliel is knocked unconscious by Nnoitra. The former Tres Espada encounters a series of tragedy as she walks the lifeless desert, until a certain victim attracts her attention. Nel x Grimm
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's Note:_** _Yep, this is my first **Bleach** fanfic; and oh my god it's **Grimmjow x Neliel**! I would never bother writing a story about a pairing I don't find to be substantial, and despite those two characters not having interacted a lot in the manga, I suspect there's still a lot to be disclosed in the future. To get on with it, I plead all you readers to go easy on me for the first couple of chapters *-*_

**_Disclaimer_**_ is **on**, even though I don't really understand why such thing is mandatory,_

**_Chapter_**_ is **T **rated, for a bit potty language and extremely **violent** themes._

**_Summary: _**_The events ensuing after Neliel is knocked unconscious by Nnoitra. A mental journey to once again recover her lost memories and awaken her true identity. The former Tres Espada encounters a series of tragedy as she walks the lifeless desert, until a certain victim attracts her attention. _

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**_Chapter 1, Former Tres Espada_**

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Doe hazel eyes looked around inquisitively within the darkness of her world, _"Why ith Nel..?" _

The very depths of long-stagnant oblivion had been suddenly stirred by a dim gleam of consciousness. To finally break free of the shackles of the broken mask, the girl had to bathe in a past dyed in crimson memories. Thousands of shredded corpses, relentless murder and unforgiving sins lying under crescent moon blades. There was no fear in her little heart, only a child's natural curiosity to examine what the red liquid dripping on her cheeks could be. There was no need to know that the word was called 'blood', for the unstained purity of an innocent child who had never committed sin would be her shield against the gruesome atrocity that was about to follow.

A guiding light was pouring from far above, prompting her to reach it and find the answers. The mental tide was rising, besetting memories had started playing one after the other in a fluxed veil around her, the bright dawn banishing away the demons of her amnesia. Each ray illumined a dark corner, and each corner unveiled a bittersweet remembrance that respectively made its way to surface. The long suffered migraine began to latch on each side of her temples, the unnerving pain aggravating as she couldn't come around to conceive all those nostalgic memories of a woman's shadow. To whom that shadow belonged to, even if its silhouette looked very familiar, Nel Tu didn't know. She was merely following her instincts to climb up and reach that female shadow to seek the truth. The surface was so close she could faintly descry the origin of the light, yet the unyielding pain refused to allow her escape, still fighting to drown her back to the bottom of nothingness.

_"Where d'ya think you're going ya little shit?"_ It was not just about a headache anymore, for it felt like someone was literally whipping her with such anger and sheer hatred that soon brought Nel to the edge of despair. Which memory of all could be causing her such pain, and why? Who hated her with such fervour to desire her condemned to an eternal prison? There was a man's shadow down below, now chuckling more and more smugly with each lashing on Nel's feeble body. _"Come down here ya little bitch! I'll crack that damn skull of yours over and over again! HAHAHA!"_ The brave little girl had tried to do her best, but his monstrosity was just too much for a child to endure. Desperation had begun seeping in the form of tears, growing convinced to the idea that she was going to remain subjugated to that man's leash.

_"Nel..Nel can't..."_ The little girl's fingers and toes curled defensively from the pain, the air in her lungs breathed out in desperate whimpers. _"Pleath! Help Nel..!_ Stretching her little hand forward, the girl screamed loudly before bursting into a river of tears, the wails of unbearable pain leaving in packs each time the merciless lashes scraped her skin. The callous shadow of a man wouldn't cease abusing her, laughing with fixation upon Nel struggling to crawl forward in hope of finding someone to save her.

The few green rags protecting her delicate little body were being torn to pieces each time the shadow attacked, denuding her to savor the dread creeping on her vulnerable childhood. The girl was just murmuring under her breath at this point. Deprived of any strength left inside her, Nel squirmed between her knees. Each ruthless lashing was leaving behind venom-like stings on the carve of her wounds. Nel did not even have the power to keep crying anymore, only sniffing in despair before the bitter tears found the entrance to her mouth,_ "Pleath..Nel doesn't want..to thtay here..anymore.."_ A wistful tear was shed, causing the light to intensify upon the sound of the tear dripping. The lunatic laugh and sadistic attacks had been vanquished.

The woman's shadow Nel had been trying to reach started to descend from the surface, putting Nel's wide shimmering eyes in a state of awe. She wasn't a mere shadow anymore. Long green locks, full chest, nostalgic honey eyes, and a sweet smile. _"She's a beautiful lady.." _Nel thought shyly, dejecting eyes timidly because someone so beautiful was looking at someone as ugly as her. Nel continued peeping the angel with tears still wavering on the sides of her lids, a meek complaint in her wet hazel eyes. The little girl wanted to wobble in her predicament, but the woman offered her hand.

_"Come. Don't be afraid."_ The woman's voice was velvet soft, smiling compassionately to the meek little lamb in front of her. _"You've spent too much time sleeping in the darkness."_

Nel immediately raised her hand to accept hers, stuttering in need to ask a question,_ "C-Can Miss really take Nel out of the dark?"_ A smile full of hope walked on the tortured child's lips when the woman nodded with kindness. Nel's instincts were telling her that this trustworthy person could pull her out of the agony at last. Her eyes were still clouded from the torment, but that did not stop her from noticing the woman's cute pink birthmark under her eyes, exactly like hers. _"You look a lot like Nel Miss!"_ The little girl clapped her hands, happy to meet someone so nice in this gloomy place,

The proud Tres Espada kept the smile as she held Nel's hand tight. _"Let's leave this forsaken place, Neliel"_ They were ascending to the light at last.

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_If I were given wings_  
_I would fly for your sake_

_Even if all of the earth_  
_Were to drown into water._

_If I were given a blade_  
_I would fight for your sake_

_Even if all of the skies_  
_Were to pierce through you with light._

_~Neliel Tu's poem by Kubo Tite_

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_**.**  
_

Gasping before the set breath, Neliel's eyes flew open as she awakened in an emotional chaos. _"Just..a dream?"_

Her vision was still being deluded with erratic blurs, leading Neliel to squint her eyes shut in an attempt to banish the images of a dream that was still vivid in her mind. Only once her eyes settled on the grains of sand gliding across the white desert, Neliel realized she was really awake. Sealing hazel eyes in a disposition to let out a sigh that never came, she retracted the initial thought of it being just some nightmarish dream. The fact she had returned to her adult form meant there was no way it could have just been phantoms of her subconscious. Her recollections had finished up right after Nnoitra had hacked her like trash, but there was more after that; Something that had taken place for brief seconds before losing her consciousness again. The picture was quite hazy, but not the least hard to illustrate once she put light focus on it.

Submitted on his knees, arms savagely mutilated and blood gushing out of his chest in streams. The Quinto Espada had locked eyes with her for one last time, until he was prostrate on the ground. The dim memory was more than enough to bring the chill on her skin and for the first time the desert sand felt cold under her naked feet. Βringing her forearms in a lap under her chest, Neliel rubbed her upper arms in hope that the friction would bestow her some warmth on the parts of her body the few green rags couldn't protect. Her feet slowly scuffed the sand as she brought knees up to her chest, juddering like an injured deer when none of the methods seemed to work. The brutality of war had been once more imprinted in Neliel's heart.

Slipping a slender arm from her lap to get support on the flat boulder behind her, the former tercera espada lifted the burdens of her past and was able to stand on her feet again. A nostalgic facade soon decorated her features, musing across the broad landscape of the Hueco Mundo desert, dropping her eyelashes in a mild fashion when not even a trace of spiritual pressure seemed to exist in the vicinity. Only the blood's copper in the air would invade her nostrils and erase her last hopes for possible survivors. The shinigami messengers from Soul Society had intruded in an instant, slaughtered all of the arrancar and espada, then departed to their base.

An imminent concern about her two fraccion unsettled her emotions when Neliel flew disquieting thoughts, but deep in her heart there was a positive feeling telling her they were still alive. Pesche and Dondochakka might be acting like jokers, but they were far more level-headed than they appeared to be. They should have sensed their master's awakened nostalgic reiatsu by now, so they should already be on their way to reunite with her.

Allaying her primary concern, Neliel traced her glance further across the white sea. And then, he was there. "Nnoitra.."

The girl's eyes softened upon a nonexistent spiritual pulse from the arrancar's body. There was not as much disorder in her emotions as she thought to be though. After all, she had already witnessed the worst part just seconds before his fall. However, there was indeed a brief hesitation before her feet had detached from the sand; The natural hesitation in sight of an old comrade's body lying down on the battlefield. The former tercera hadn't developed mutual bonds with the quinto, but still, knowing him for years was an adaption she couldn't escape.

Certain memories had began to animate while she walked for his body, their missions assigned by Aizen occupying the biggest portion of those flashbacks. Enwrapped in said thoughts that made seconds fly without noticing, Neliel had very soon found herself before the quinto. One more distracted step and she'd have accidentally dipped her feet into the pool of his blood, something that would possibly stain her for a lifetime. Hazel eyes settled with a silent stare upon his twitchless expression, studying him in a manner that she needed to confirm the obvious. The sea-green haired girl didn't know where the sudden urge to sigh was originating from. Perhaps it was because she was finally reassured that her friends would be safe from this man's menacing clutches, or maybe it was a late regret that all her efforts to save him from his own aspect of death had failed.

Despair was one of the great seven sins, and the only way to escape such a fate would come at a great cost. Nnoitra had atoned for his sins by living his last breath as he always desired, a death that Neliel would always disapprove of in the past with rational arguments, claiming his lust for blood to be a mere artificial high. Maybe she was wrong.. Life was devoid from his violet eyes, yet there still was a faint smile residing on his lips; A smile evincing that what one had always yearned in their life had been finally fulfilled. After several years of bearing to be spared by his superiors and receiving their pitiful glances, Nnoitra had finally met someone who acknowledged him as a true warrior and bestowed him the so desired deathblow. Her former comrade had died content, so there was no reason to feel pity or disgust for his past deeds anymore. Neliel's conscience would hardly feel lighter after knowing that of course, but the time had come. The natural decay was upon his body, gradually searing his flesh and clothings to ashes.

"This is goodbye.." The rather sorrowful moment created a pang in her golden eyes, watching as his smile was the last to dissipate into the wind, "Nnoitra."

Bidding the last farewell to her comrade, Neliel's eyes glided further to his fraccion Tesla, only to immediately avert with her back in sight of a raw bisection. Strange though, Neliel thought a moment later, allowing her hand to slide down from her mouth. From the spare second she could cast her eyes on Tesla's corpse, Neliel descried a tear shed on his eye. Death had different tastes, sweet or bitter. Once Nnoitra's body had disappeared, the decay had passed onto Tesla. Only one purpose the young man had in his life, and that was to serve and protect his master at any cost. Even after death, he still couldn't allow himself to be relieved of his duties until his master decided to move on. And Neliel had to move on as well, to long her golden eyes far into the horizon and embrace what could be unfolded to her.

Few minutes later and still waiting for her fraccion to arrive, Neliel's senses were agitated in a bat of the lid, an unsettled look in her eyes. There was a very faint spiritual pulse just nearby, which became detectable only once she had started using her pesquisa to try and track her fraccion. Without giving it a second thought the girl hastened to aid that spiritual presence, slowing down when the pulse started growing weaker, and in the end died as well. Keeping her footing in a guarded pace, Neliel spotted another lake of blood. It was the pantera, the hot headed espada who had challenged Ichigo in a catastrophic deathmatch. Walking close to him to evaluate, the immense scent of copper had found entrance to Neliel's senses again. Her feet halted before his body, her eyes set upon disheveled blue hair, peaceful shut eyes, and the unnatural absence of a frown on his expression. The lividity of death had yet to creep on his skin, which immediately soared one remorse.

_"If only..a moment sooner.."_

The tres chanted it a few times, her hands raging to fists over the time she rendered herself responsible for not making it fast enough to prevent another casualty. He had fought a good match, holding his blade with a pride that was extinct nowadays. For that pride, Nnoitra had rent him in an instant. He was another one of Nnoitra's countless victims, someone who stood up to his height and was taken down for doing so. Holding her hands in a prayer for a moment of silence, Neliel wished for his soul to find its way along with the rest of his fallen comrades. Awakening her eyes again, the tres espada turned around to leave. An eerie breeze blew by, swaying the green locks in a wild wavy fashion, making Neliel to wish that the wind could take away all of her memories and let her spirit drift along with it.

Three bodies so far, and only god knew how many were yet to be discovered. Lifting her heel to depart from the bloody battlefield, Neliel's step was stolen by a barely audible gasp. Her hazel eyes held a bewildered reflection as she turned over her shoulder, widening her glance even more when the presumed dead espada's eyes were staring stagnantly on the static sky of the dome. Oh god, his spiritual pulse was actually there, but it was so weak that it almost appeared to be good as dead. The breeze that had just passed by must have awakened him somehow. Neliel felt her stomach leaping to her mouth when the pantera's pupils rolled down on her. Then she swallowed, processing hundreds of scenarios of how to handle the situation as efficiently as possible. Still lingering on deciding how to proceed properly, the short tempered espada tried to lift his neck, like trying to tell something to her. Neliel's knees scooped the sand as she glided to stop him from doing anything stupid.

"Don't strain yourself." Her eyes admonished him as a slender hand crept behind his rigid neck to help him rest back on the sand pillow, "Any careless movement might prove fatal in your condition."

Saying that, Neliel navigated her eyes on his battered chest's wounds. There were no damaged muscles or tendons, visibly at least, only deep flesh wounds that had caused a massive hemorrhage. The deep slashes received by Ichigo had closed up more or less, leaving a pile of gore behind them. The only wound that seemed to worry Neliel was the one with the crescent imprint on it. It was still fresh, and without any reiatsu deposits to speed up the healing process, it was very possible that he could die from blood loss. The sexta espada was very close to the verge of death, able to tell by the very weary color of his sapphire eyes, almost pale. His throat tilted as he failed to speak on the first attempt, completely dry. Perceiving his intention, Neliel quickly bent over him, bringing her ear to point blank range from his parched lips to grasp the faint words. Parting his lips to breathe the words, Neliel gasped in disbelief,

"...Kill me"

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_I hope you had fun reading, because that's the end of Chapter 1. Since I enjoyed writing this chapter I think I'll soon start writing the next one. Feel free to leave a review, it's always helpful. Till next time!  
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_**TheLostEspada**_

_20.11.10_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note:** Hi everyone! Sorry for a rather late update, but Chapter 2 is here. I was happy to open my mailbox and find such a surprising response to my story, which brings up the following long list;  
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_**Reviews**: I would like to thank **EL0NI**, __**Raptorclaus**__, **Fostersb**, **llloverrr**, **BleachBoy95 **and __**I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghosts**__ for their kind reviews. Special thanks to **AlleluiaElizabeth **for catching my spelling mistakes on Chapter 1. Don't hesitate to inform me about any misspelling that might occur on the next issues. **Faves** & **Alerts** are also very much appreciated *-*  
_

_**Disclaimer** is **on**, since I do not own Bleach or the poems written by Tite Kubo,  
_

_**Chapter** is **T **rated, not for particular reason, just to be safe,_

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**_Chapter 2, Pursued by Shadow_**

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The dark tint of red, she detested the most. Bloodshed had always been the endmost resort for the young arrancar girl, mere savagery unbefitting for a kind heart that sought nothing but nostalgia. Protecting the ones who could not defend themselves would be the only occasions Neliel deemed she had to stand up and declare her sword, and right now that was definitely not the case. Even though her true body may have awakened, the tres espada had hoped for a new start, to repose gamuza's sheath and never watch sunsets hued in crimson rivers, ever again. Drawing the blood of someone who had been dying before her very eyes was beyond the most unforgivable of sins, a cold blooded vulgarity that deserved no place amongst the gentle intentions that made her approach the fatally wounded espada.

The moment the defeated pantera had tried to get her attention, Neliel immediately believed that he was in crucial need of her aid. Her intuition hadn't been incorrect, but the kind of assistance he had requested was just not something she could grant like that. A growing lump in her throat inhibited the slightest vowel from escaping her lips, thus silence was now extending to awkward proportions. He didn't seem to complain over her quiet position to the matter however, which she found to be quite a peculiar feeling, taking into account the sexta espada's extremely impulsive nature. He was just staring into her eyes, almost expectantly she could say, not even uttering a word that could possibly evoke to her emotions of hesitation, or pity. Musing hazel eyes over the blue haired arrancar's resolve, second by second Neliel arrived to the conclusion she had been trying to avoid at all costs.

The ghost of a smile that had started to settle on his lips was most nostalgic, but also rather embittering.

At first she'd have sworn that the pangs of pain must have driven him to the edge of sanity to make him say such nonsensical things. However, Neliel knew it was probably just her own secretive hope that his reason had been shadowed. There was no doubt the pain had been coursing like burning acid throughout his body, yet that calm smile was the one that unpuzzled Neliel's questions about his cold decision. There's a time every being would be enlightened that their end was drawing near, and Grimmjow Jaegerjaques had finally started to accept that his fate was sealed. In front of him stood no woman, ally or enemy, just an arrancar's sword with a blade that could put him out of this pointless linger to life.

Going by his loose bloody fingers, she could easily tell that he was already feeling numb. The blood loss would soon spread a full paralysis that alleviates his pain, giving him the impression of nothing more than just a cold feeling. Afterwards he'd most likely sink into a growing disposition to sleep, till he finally rests his eyes and everything is superseded by eternal pitch black shadow. Her experience told her that it would be a serene death most of the times, but there was no guarantee how much it would take till he succumbed to his wounds. It could take from a couple of minutes to a couple of hours, depending on one's spiritual level. The mere fact he was an espada were bad news for the sexta. He'd have to bear and watch his own demise for hopeless hours before death embraced him in its cold veil, all that under the unending agony of getting possibly devoured by the greedy hollows that lurked around the desert sand layers.

Guarding her eyes on the moment of her decision, Neliel drew her hand softly from the nape of his neck, "Very well."

One thing was certain right now; She couldn't just leave him in the lurch. Her hand touched the sand surface, pushing down her fingers as she elegantly stood up. Gladly she would have tried to help him, but if her gamuza was the form of salvation the sexta espada desired, then Neliel would have to make a lifetime exception and cast away her pity. Though his eyes exhausted may be, azure pride was still evident inside them. No matter how much regret it would cause her later on, Neliel wouldn't denigrate the pride of an espada who had strived to the very end.

Reaching to her lower back, the tres espada brought the green sheath in front of her. The blade flashed as soon as it emerged from its depths, reassuring the sexta that he had made the right choice. If it was sharp, then a swift end awaited him. Tranquillity was just seconds away, thus a pleased smirk cracked on his lips as he finally relaxed his head towards the sky. Neliel pointed the tip of her blade on his neck, subtly studying him and strangely interested to know what he could be thinking in his last moments.

_"Why does he want to die that much? Isn't there anyone waiting for his return?"_ Empathy had soon found a seat in her emotions, suspecting an issue that was most disheartening. Loneliness would often make certain individuals give up on life, reminding them that there's no one to hold onto this world. The pantera may not look susceptible to such emotions, but he must have thought of it at times. Neliel herself didn't know what might have happened if she didn't have her fraccion.

His silence wasn't helping much either. There was no way she could proceed without getting him to say something first, be it of value or not. To draw a response, Neliel dragged her sword from his neck down to his chest, quite relieved when the blue eyes pointed at her and he broke another frail smirk. "Heh, you got some taste woman.."

Honestly, she didn't want to see his blood at all. Neliel simply considered that piercing his heart would end it faster than cutting his throat. Apparently he liked the spot as well, but that was just a ridiculous matter that got her irritated merely for pondering over. Hazel eyes narrowed suggestively once she deemed to answer back, "I don't think you should be giving me compliments for something like that, espada."

Much as nonchalant she tried to make herself sound, what had started to course inside Neliel's emotions could not be described as mere predicament. Each feeble attempt to put force on her sword would result in feeling the very tip of her blade pressing against her own chest. What a strange bond, for someone she knew barely little. Thanking her like that, his last words had rendered her mission about impossible. Right now all the standpoints of her blade crossed on a perspective of finishing Nnoitra's work. Every single code of morality she possessed was crushing her, _"I'm not a murderer.." _The sword shook along with her will, the reluctance rising._  
_

Her power was meant to protect lives, not deprive them. Τhe mind's logic told her to press down her blade to relieve him, but the heart's instincts berated her for even thinking about it. The last thing the young tercera wanted was to be haunted by more nightmares of her past, to keep the guilty memory of a forlorn shadow who did not even get to know her name, or the truth carved on her back. The tres espada had never placed her ego on top of others, but maybe this only time she needed to listen to her own voice. Dragging herself into Nnoitra's demented world was out of the question.

The smirk the sexta had built up from his petulance to rest fell apart once the tip of her sword targeted the entrance of its sheath. _"What the hell..?"_ His eyes almost failed him when he realized she had no intention of killing him. Perhaps she never intended to kill him in the first place..

"I'm sorry." The girl replied distantly without making eye contact, still quite unsettled about what she had fortunately not committed, "I can't."

Clicking gamuza inside her sheath, she finally regarded him with the corner of her eye, curious to know how he took it. Pondering over the confusion dominating his eyes, quite better than she imagined. Though after he actually finished registering her verdict, a tendon strained on his neck, gritting his teeth in a sense of gall. "Damn..coward..!" Didn't she know it would just prolong the inevitable? Not a sign of regret she had in her eyes though, looking down on him with a feeling akin to pity.

Darting pupils to their corners, his eyes twitched distressfully as he tried to spot pantera, "I cannot allow you to do that either." Before he could retrace his glance the woman had kneeled down to claim his sword, then secured it along with her own. Even though she knew he couldn't move a muscle, let alone lifting a blade, she still wouldn't risk it with his frivolity. Things couldn't have turned out worst for the sexta. From one instant to the next, hope had vanished into thin air.

With nothing left to do anymore, he once again connected eyes with the green haired girl who was sitting on her knees just next to his side. _"Why the heck is the woman still here?"_ How humiliated he felt right now, even himself couldn't fathom. In the end, only a hopeless hiss was able to voice his thoughts, though anger eventually started to recede like a calm tide, slowly appeasing his eyes as he addressed a complaint to the sky, "Never thought I'd bite the dust like that.."

A shuffling sound got his attention, crawling her knees closer to him till part of his vision got towered under the woman's strict hazel gaze and large breasts. "Don't speak as if your life has already come to an end." Despair she could tolerate, but she wouldn't allow vanity get the better of him. Stern golden eyes gave him no space for argument, as Neliel had made up her mind, "If I have your permission I can try to.."

"Nel..sama?" That voice... It was familiar.

Not even getting the chance to process the possibility, Neliel whipped her eyes around. _"Pesche?"_ Words could not paint her surprise, also noticing Dondochakka standing by the slim arrancar's build. All this emotional controversy on how to deal with the sexta got her carried away from her initial objective, therefore she had scarcely anticipated her fraccion's approaching reiatsu.

Tears had almost formed from the nostalgic smiles as they walked close to her for a warm reunion, "That nostalgic reiatsu.. I knew it had to be our Nel-sama.." The arrancar with the ant-like mask was taken by tears, tightening the hug while finding it hard to believe that after all these years, their master had returned.

"N-Nel.. We missed you so much, don'tcha know?" The rofund fraccion welcomed her in his broad arms, though the tears were more like torrents.

A pang of angst had departed with her breath, sighed relief filling her heart, "I'm glad to see the both of you unharmed.." The tres espada would show more restraint over her emotions, but she was aware that she couldn't have been given a better gift. Neliel returned the hug, snuggling between her two friends' faces.

Leaning her body towards them, Neliel's new position had revealed something that Pesche had to note first, "Nel-sama, who is.." Then his eyes started to wide open as the name of the pantera echoed in his mind. He knew his master couldn't have possibly been the one to bring him to such a grievous state, for she abhorred blood. But then, who could..? Peering on the blood, a gasp crawled out in pieces from Pesche's throat, distinguishing a certain wound among the others.

The espada girl abandoned the smile, foreknowing the reason he had slipped from the hug in such a rush, "Pesche.."

With each step suspicion would grow in his yellow pupils, till he reached the blue haired arrancar in need to ask him a question, "Who gave you that wound, espada?" Pesche knew the answer wouldn't come out in any possible scenario, since he could tell the man was in no condition to respond. "Nel-sama!" Pesche swifted over his shoulder, his eyes asking more of a confirmation rather than a hint. The dejected golden orbs that soon shut regretfully were more than enough to make it clear as daylight. He turned on the other espada again, having the next question just before his clenched teeth, "Aren't you his comrade? Why did he.." Exasperation fumed in Pesche's eyes, perceiving that by the crescent wound's direction it was a case no different than his master's. Blindsided.

"Nel?" The idle fraccion decided to enter the conversation after the brief revelations, looking at Neliel with timid concern on his expression, "Are we going to let him die?"

The shocking question attracted Pesche's concern as well, who immediately displayed an expectant look to his young master, "Nel-sama, we're not allowing this man to die. Not by that brute's hand!"

Her two fraccion; Pesche Guatiche and Dondochakka Bilstin. Two rare hollows unique of their kind, with gentle hearts soaring beyond the skies.. Their compassion would always help her stand from her knees, take initiatives and decisions that she couldn't otherwise. But most of all, they made her smile. "No, we are not."

The tercera espada stood before the half conscious arrancar, who possibly couldn't sense their presence at this turning point. "Nel-sama, the shinigami might return any moment now. We are easily exposed where we are..!"

Neliel regarded the advice, but she already knew that in such a place there wasn't much she could do. "Pesche, Dondochakka, we're making haste to my old chambers."

Not a single sign of hesitation crossed her two friends' features before they quickly nodded to each other. "Dondochakka, Nel-sama won't be able to defend with her hands full. We're going to become her sword and dispatch any enemy that tries to attack her." The recipient fraccion nodded for a second time, and it was not long before the sand had hurled under their feet, dashing on the front lines.

The green haired girl returned her eyes on the dying espada, once again bowing on her knee, but this time to hold him in her arms. Bending his limbs to pass her hands under his back earned a few gasps of discomfort from the sexta. Could he see her? Did he even know someone was holding his fate right now? The blue embers in his eyes were weak, but still there, eclipsing under the crescent moon's shade.

_"You've come too far to die on me now, espada. Run with me until I can take care of your wounds. Whatever you do, don't let the shadow despair you."_

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_The king is running_

_Shaking free from the shadow,  
Beating the armor,  
Kicking at the bones,  
Slurping the flesh and blood,  
The creaking increases.  
Crushing the heart_

_He walks in alone  
Toward the faraway other side._

_~Grimmjow's poem by Kubo Tite  
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_Okay, I think I'm done with the poems for now, __*-*__ I found it interesting that Neliel's poem is talking about the **light**, while Grimmjow's is about the **shadow**. Suspicious setting for sure.. Next installment might take a little time, so meanwhile leave a review if you liked the chapter.  
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_**TheLostEspada**_

_05.12.10**  
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	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note:** Before I dare apologize for the near month wait, ****Merry Christmas ****everyone!**** To make it up for your patience I decided to install a** special chapter**, involving a little bit of **GrimmNel** interest,  
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_**Reviews**: Wholeheartedly thanking **EL0NI**,__ **Fostersb**, **llloverrr**, __**vulgarite succulent**__,_ _**Ou Yang Jing**__, **BleachBoy95**, __**xxxroxyxxx**__, **Selena **and** Sodapops **for taking time to review. I'm so happy that readers caught up with my story from the very first chapters. *-*  
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_**Disclaimer** is **on**, and all I got to say is that I wish it could actually be off for once,  
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_**Chapter** is **T **rated, for mild **lime **and inexplicit carnal themes,  
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**_Chapter 3, Healing the Wounds  
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Eerie silence had consumed her senses for a while now. Neliel could listen to nothing but her own fleeting footsteps as she galloped with all haste possible, yet tactfully keeping an eye on her two fraccion in case something the alarming occurred. The absence of hollow encounters came not much of a surprise however, as the tercera had already considered that this desolation was to be rather expected. Only one thing could keep the gluttonous beings away from their insatiable hunger, and that was no other than the innate instinct to survive. She found it relatively ironic while bethinking of it, because the laws of the jungle weren't actually that much different in Hueco Mundo. If you were stronger, you'd get to be the hunter. Consequently, if you were weaker, that would make you the prey and therefore had to run for it.

The members of the espada had been overwhelmed in a matter of less than an hour, caught up in a massacre the history of arrancars had never met before. Aizen Sosuke himself bit the bullet in announcing the startling news, his foremost speech resonating far and wide. Those hollows who possessed enough sanity to comprehend the direness of the situation had rushed to flee, either scattering out of the cracked dome, or even escaping below the desert surface, once again into the forest of menos where they could seek refuge in the homeland of darkness. An enemy that had managed to annihilate the power of the espada was not to play with, but to dread for. Whatever their choice would be, just as far away from the shinigami threat as possible.

For how much time Neliel had been out cold, she couldn't tell. Ηowever she clearly recalled that the sexta had been lying incapacitated since the moment Nnoitra stepped in to recommence the deathmatch with an already injured Ichigo. And then of course, there also was her own last spar with the quinto. Following the course of events, Neliel deemed it should be safe to assume that even more battles had ensued before the havoc finally subsided. In any event, the sexta had been struggling there on his own for a considerable amount of time. Be that as it may, he was in beyond good fortune that the young tercera had found him still breathing.

In need to calm down the shadow of a concern, her golden eyes inevitably descended to check on the blue haired arrancar, resting quietly just beneath her neck. The gap keeping his eyes awake was insufficient to call it the least conscious, yet he was instinctively feeling that someone was actually holding him tight. Neliel wished that she could only give him some promise, but right now all she could offer him, was hope. A ray of her light.

_"Just a little longer. We're almost there."_

Determined hazel eyes rose to glaze the skies of her resolution, once again focusing onward her way and nowhere else. Neliel was on a mission, and each second wasted for any unnecessary purpose could very well bring that mission to the brink of precipice. Anything could happen while entering deeper zones inside the Las Noches domain, so she had to stay alert for a possible unexpected development. If anything, it was to let down the sexta espada's efforts because of a mishap. She wouldn't accept it.

"Nel-sama!" The slim fraccion had suddenly leaned on the side of his shoulder the tercera was, then his eyes addressed a high fortress wall across their route,

The tres espada responded with a nod of her head to let him know that she had seen it. The three of them had immediately recognized Neliel Tu Odelschwanck's living quarters. Like Nnoitra had said, just how many years had it been she was exiled? How many years had passed since the day she gave them the last mission? Only time would tell how many sleeping memories had yet to awaken. Las Noches, a relic of her past, now about to tread into this world again.

Adjusting her body to ready the appropriate stance to leap, then tightening her grip on the sexta, the two espada bathed in a chilling breeze as she soared themselves to great heights. The tercera was able to take a glimpse of their exact location before allowing gravity to glide her down the spirit particles. The seemingly obvious wall was actually an elevated base, constructed so that its height would dissuade hollows from attacking. Landing with even grace on the tips of her toes to reduce the bounce, Neliel awaited the two fraccion to follow her lead. Once they had all alighted on top of the base, their eyes directed straight at the tower occupying almost all of the platform's far reach. Ahead of them, that modest, yet imposing building, would use to be Neliel's espada residence.

Now definite about their next destination, Neliel used her sonido to tear through the air and prevent any further delay. She was finally standing before the door she had been seeking all that time, though something Neliel could not have possibly foreseen was hindering their path. A thick steel chain was sealing the door, however the apparent simplicity of it was most deceitful. She could sense a foul reiatsu flowing inside those chains, its nasty nature quickly drawing the suspicion of her two friends who stood silently in the background.

_"It's his doing.."_ Pesche's eyes came to narrow in a vengeful glare, merely for building up the image of his despicable sneering smile. _"Szayel Aporro."_

The octavo espada was the other half cause of their master's lost memories, the one who designed the device Nnoitra used to trick her, and break her mask. For someone like the tercera, cutting those chains would easily be a child's play, a mere noble swing of her blade. Pesche and Dondochakka could not allow this to happen however. Shielding her from such painful memories would always be their own mission, a duty they had been committed to ever since the day their master died_, _the day they failed to protect her. Though the proud tercera may be back, their assignment was all but over. If they let her draw her sword because of the likes of that monster, it would only remind her more of the past, drag her down to bitter recollections.

Clear dismay began dwelling in her nostalgic honey eyes while regarding the exigency of his condition. They were so close, just a few more steps and she would actually be able to treat him safely. It was just strange.. So many qualms had arisen in the thought of watching him pass away in her arms, but most of all, a heavy burden of responsibility; Knowing that the only reason he was clinging onto life was merely because of the hope she had given him. Bearing that in mind, Neliel's eyes lapsed from the light blue of his hair to gaze pensively down on the drops of dark ruby staining his white hakama. The tercera had been brought into a dilemma, now also considering the option of healing him right where they were.

Neliel was about to loosen her arms, though an unexpected intervention of her fraccion confounded her anew, "Dondochakka, move out of the way."

Closing the distance between himself and the sealed door, Pesche's hand slipped inside the loincloth undergarments to bring out a glowing sword. "P-Pesche, are you really gonna..?" Dondochakka had been chewing on his fingernails due to the chatter of his teeth, worried about what might happen to his friend if he touched that thing.

"This was once our home, Dondochakka.." His feet accelerated to a rapid pace, the yellow glare almost hardening to slits, "Nel-sama's home!" Jumping high, the fraccion delivered an all out slash on the chain.

The loud clash of the impact voiced what rightfulness and remorse he held within him, though only able to cause a small crack on one of the links. Following the example of his friend, the other fraccion quickly found his confidence as well, "Don't forget about me Pesche!" Already holding onto his huge kanabo, Dondochakka charged to crush down the chains. Another impact echoed before the cracked link broke apart, and the chains finally started to drop.

The tercera couldn't help but observe with a subtle smile gracing her lips, _"Those two have gotten a lot stronger than I can remember."_ There were indeed a lot of things that Neliel would like to learn about during those years of her absence, but at the same time she knew well that there was no time to linger. After removing the chains to open the shut door, Pesche and Dondochakka nodded to her reassurance. Having only her mission in mind, the girl carefully planned her next movements. Whatever emotion may lie beyond that door, she had to repress it.

Aware of the nostalgic sentiments that their master might be undergoing, Pesche deemed necessary to veil his own apprehension behind the mask, though his always nervous friend could only scratch his head while watching Neliel as she advanced further inside, on her own accord. "Hey Pesche, we can still help Nel with healing that guy, don'tcha know?"

Her feet were brought to an abrupt halt, feeling a sudden knot twisting her stomach. She never wanted to worry others with her own troubles, since her nature had always been kind like that, but now.. Barely inclining over her shoulder as a first response, Pesche could flawlessly discern the shards of predicament inside those doe golden eyes. For some reason she was feeling terribly awkward with what Dondochakka had proposed all of a sudden, cornered and unable to fumble for words because of her love to them. Afraid that she would possibly hurt them, she was hurting herself instead.

"Nah, Dondochakka. We should stay here in case something happens and Nel-sama is still tied up with the espada." Walking a bit further, Pesche flexed his waist to straighten up a bit. "Besides, four arrancars in one room might draw the attention of the shinigami, right?"

One more of the reasons Neliel loved her fraccion was because they were the only ones who could understand her emotions alone from little details. Regardless of what Neliel might be feeling and what not, her composure would most always prevent her current mood from expressing itself to others' eyes. However, those two could easily read her like an open book, no matter how much she tried to enclose her feelings to herself. After all, if they were something more than her fraccion, Pesche and Dondochakka were her dear friends. With a smile of gratitude soothing her lips, "Thank you..", her heels bent forward instants before darting ahead the way.

Everything around her was just, so gloomy.. Patterns of corridors and doors were all she could remember just this soon after finding her memories. Maneuvering amidst blurred reflections of her past, Neliel was relying on her instincts in order not to take a wrong turn and possibly find herself in a dead end. A life was on the line, and time was not on her side either. The heartbeat had started to get tense, bracing the sexta tight in reflex as she fathomed possibilities and consequences of a mere misjudgement. Eventually her eyes widened a bit after spotting a path of stairs ahead of her, soon to realize that she was really on her way to the second floor, the level where the tercera's room should be located.

Reaching the end of the stairs in a blink of the eye, Neliel could almost be at ease that the conclusion of the running was near. One hallway entrance, two rooms across each other, and a split path in the far distance. Those two dorms belonged to each of her fraccion, which should mean that.. The girl locked her eyes on the path to the right, then continued her way through the next corridor. And at long last, Neliel could put on a weary smile when a slightly brighter and familiar room showed her the way. The door had been left open, since the day she went out and never returned.

Walking a few steps inside her chambers, Neliel had quickly deemed that the bed was the only convenient place to favor her treatment. It was located a bit further to the corner, so the tercera headed that way in a brisk pace. Uplifting her knee, then plunging it onto the mattress to weigh down on it, she tried to rest him on the bed as gently as she could. After allowing few seconds to calm down and catch her breath, the green haired girl immediately fixed her eyes on the sexta to make a better assessment of the urgency. With one word, all she could see, was red. There was so much blood still oozing on his chest, to the point Neliel had trouble making out the actual wounds amongst that endless sheen of crimson.

Removing his jacket was the first thing that she could think of at this moment. It was thoroughly soaked in his blood, not to mention that it prevented her eyes from the one wound that scared her most of all. Getting a grip on each side of the black collar, she had no trouble tearing his jacket in two pieces, since most part of it had got tattered during his battles anyway. The girl took a deep breath to grasp the necessary concentration before initiating the tough part. The reason Neliel didn't want her fraccion to be present while healing the sexta, was simply because even them had never witnessed how she would put it into work. They might have seen her as 'Nel' vomiting on wounds, with her saliva having astonishing curing capabilities, though they had never actually seen how 'Neliel' would do the same.

She'd have no reason to be feeling uncomfortable if she could just reach her uvula and vomit on him like 'Nel' would. That kind of _technique_ was not possible in her adult form however. The fact she had closed the door behind her meant that Neliel needed to feel some privacy in order to carry on without hesitation. The tres espada would scarcely use this method to heal her own wounds, scratches or small nicks that she might receive in the hostile desert. No one could ever put a finger on how some of her injuries would miraculously disappear, simply because she didn't want anyone to know about it. Her saliva had to come in direct contact with the skin in order for the healing to be effective. And since she couldn't use her vomit.. The thought alone was enough disgraceful to make her reluctant.

At least the sexta had passed out by now, otherwise she wouldn't be so sure if she could force herself to it. Crawling her body close to the unconscious espada, the scent of blood was something she had to decisively overcome. Studying about the left side of his chest for a moment, Neliel could tell that the area bearing the deep crescent slash was the one that she had to deal with. Carefully leaning further down to bring her face closer, her lips parted with caution before a dainty tongue descended on the wound, and licked it.

The taste of blood, how much she had forgotten about it.. Maybe revolting on a first sight, but only till it reached the palate of her mouth. Blood would still emanate an unpleasant copperish taste to a human, but for hollows, its flavor was incredibly sweet. Though Neliel might have evolved from hollow to an arrancar, thus acquiring her human body and consciousness, her instincts would never cease to be that of a hollow's. The void in her heart would always be substantial, and the need to fill that empty heart could only be suppressed by her own will. Her true nature once as a hollow, Neliel couldn't deny.

The wound's gash had started to close up little by little. Her healing saliva mended the damaged tissues of his skin without causing any pain at all, as the sexta didn't even seem to twitch a lid while Neliel shifted up to the area of his collarbone. She could sense the droplets of his power flowing within her body each time her tongue retraced in her mouth, though something about it was not right. Other than her own, Neliel had never tasted the blood of an espada before. She would have guessed that the blood of an arrancar tasted differently than that of an ordinary hollow's, but she failed to understand why the pantera's felt so tempting to her.

While she'd rather disregard some of the distracting details in front of her, Neliel's savoring lips couldn't lie about some facts as they had. Every inch of his body was perfectly chiselled, not too lean, not too muscular, just in a perfect balance. Pondering on such things wouldn't lead anywhere of course, but if a distraction was what she needed in order to keep her mind away from the taste of his blood, then let it be. However, a matter of grave significance had been neglected, possibly because of Neliel's own musing to ignore whatever reminded her of blood. Even for arrancars, blood coming in plenty doses could be dangerously intoxicating.

Before she could even realize, Neliel was already done with treating the life-threatening wound, however, her lips still refused to be interrupted from their work, now taking a survey on higher parts of his neck that obviously did not require her attention. The tercera's attractive curves became more exposed once she had arched her naked back, couching on her knees as if she were ready to pounce on the sexta any second now. A tranced glint had settled inside Neliel's eyes, endowing them a golden hue that shrouded in viciousness. One rare thirst had elicited within the girl's hollow instincts, and just that moment she was convinced that there was no doubt about it; Should she have met that man during their times as adjuchas class hollows, she'd have been quite interested in subduing and possibly devouring every last bit of him.

With a last hair of discipline in her disposal, she found the strength to dislodge her body from his and take a look on what had been accomplished so far. She had managed to take care of the wound that was the center of her concern up until now, however she'd rather not try the same with the rest of his wounds. Sitting up from the bed, Neliel began to wonder if she should attribute that possessive impulse to the mysteries of her transformation, and perhaps, her adult body. Absorbed in the thought, she walked in quite a cogitative saunter before opening the first aid cabinet on the wall across her bed. Neliel took out some bandage rolls and clips, _"That should do it, for now."_

Sitting softly back on the bed, Neliel had to haul him up in her lap so she could wrap the bandages around his chest. As she had just brought the sexta's head over her shoulder in order to pass her arms behind his back, her eyes started to adjust in sight of a small wound on his neck that had not come to her attention before. _"Could this be..." _ With her fingertip inquisitively examining the red mark residing on his neck's side, the tercera's eyes flew open as she gasped in sudden realization. Sheer embarrassment ran down her spine as Neliel's whole entirety wanted her to bite her lips. Clipping the bandages, she leaped off the bed to take a breath and collect herself. Her pulse slowing down after several seconds, Neliel tucked a strand of sea-green hair behind her ear.

Well.. He could very likely mistake it for another one of those countless bruises on his body when he woke up, so it was barely a minor issue for her to be concerned with, or at least that's what Neliel wanted to believe. What she needed right now was to find a place to rest, or better yet, crash. The blue haired espada's troublesome situation had depleted her, both mentally and physically, and she shouldn't be straining her body too much this early. Scouting around the bedroom for a few moments, other than an old armchair which she couldn't possibly deem any suitable for sleeping, there wasn't pretty much anything else to account for. Bolts of irritation travelled across her eyes as she ended up regarding her bed again, the bed where the sexta was sleeping on..

Neliel wouldn't have had any objections sleeping out in the desert if she were in her child form, but as things were now however, the tercera couldn't disgrace herself like that. "Forgive me espada.." Pushing the sexta further inside the bed to make room for herself, Neliel unfolded a woolen blanket and spread it over their bodies, "It appears that we'll have to huddle for a while."

Taking her time to snuggle deep inside the sheets as she reclined on the bed, she also pulled the blanket a bit over her shoulder before letting her cheeks sink into the cotton pillow. The tres could finally call it a day and have a decent, cozy nap. Their accommodation might not be much of a luxury, but it should provide them warm shelter for the time being. Stirring on the other side to take a last peek on the sexta, her eyebrows slowly drew together in a light frown upon notice of a deep scratch on his left cheek that had opened up.

_The bed creaking faintly, as her weight __discreetly__ joined his._

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**Oh my.. I see what I did there __*-*__ Well, even though one sided, I hope the GrimmNel scene was close to your liking. The two espada will sleep tight for the new year, and I __wish it's going to be a bright year for them indeed. Happy New Year's Eve!  
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_**TheLostEspada**_

_31.12.10**  
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	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note:** Well.. A new chapter at last! I honestly know that my updates have started to come out in a belated basis.. Hopefully I will be able to update more occasionally once my weekly schedule allows it.  
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_**Reviews**: I'd like to thank __**vulgarite succulent**, __**EL0NI**, __**llloverrr**,__ **anon**, **Codegal** and **Mary Akataki**__ for reviewing. It's really nice to know that the introduction so far is enjoyable :3  
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_**Disclaimer** is **on**,  
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_**Chapter** is **T **rated,  
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**_Chapter 4, A Soldier's Nostalgia  
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A charming sea of green swaddled quietly under the various bedsheets as she stirred in her sleep. Seeking for more of that overnight coziness in her bed's little nest, Neliel was smiling. The nudity of her body had fallen in love with the mattress's enticing comfort, a comfort she wanted to never end. Her legs smoothed fondly one on the other to snuggle for more warmth, tender hands resting defeated atop her soft pillow. With the blanket's gentle fabric lavishing her bare skin, her whole being could now shiver with a secret delight. She would always be like that while sleeping, having the uneasy, yet hopeful nap of an antelope. It had been a very long time, and she had eventually forgotten, how it felt to lay in a cozy bed. Like a human would...;

_Huh, human.. A bit funny perhaps, but then.. This was her nostalgia.._

Paradox for a hollow as it may be, but sometimes she would even have dreams, of her past life as a human. She didn't remember much in her dreams, nor she would try to remember them after they were over. It was just _that_.. Bittersweet anamneses that would come and go at times. There would usually be people surrounding her, their faces dressed in pure light, and their voices too faint for her to recognize. Only their smiles she could clearly see. Friendly, congenial smiles, persons who must have really loved and cared about her.. This made her happy.. Ηappy to know that she had been a person dear to their hearts, to remind her that even though a hollow, humanity and emotions still existed inside her. After that beautiful reminiscence, they would disappear, one by one, along with the dream.

Neliel relieved a deep sigh, her smile becoming subtly wistful. She didn't need to explain this nostalgia, she had never wanted to unravel and spoil this beautiful feeling. All she wanted right now was to stretch her limbs. The morning dullness would be too much for anyone to handle, not to mention that it was really comfy. On a second thought, she wanted to roll onto the other side of the bed. She could afford a few more minutes from her morning, those indispensable minutes she had never allowed herself while serving under Aizen's orders. Not wasting another second in this opportunity, Neliel twisted her slim body, soon arranging into a satisfying position. An _oddly_ satisfying position.

She swore to herself that the other half of the bed was warmer, and this warmth was even trying to accompany her own. More than that, why did she feel like the vacant space of the other side was actually a bit crowded? Sure, bumping her head onto the wall while sleeping would almost be her ridiculous morning habit, but this wasn't a wall. It felt almost as if.. Neliel got a notion that something was not normal in all this, so she started to shuffle her face towards the surface of the sheets. A pair of soft amber eyes slowly lit up, still a bit sleepy due to the morning stupor. The few rays of light that had slipped through the window curtains were enough to illustrate some of the objects in the room, but otherwise, still a lot dark. There, inches away from her nose, she found the source of the warmth.

_"Who is..!"_ She was startled, she was scandalized.

Neliel instinctively jerked backwards and flipped her body to jump out of the bed, only to find herself tumbling down on her elbows when she was carelessly betrayed by her own hastiness to escape. She tried not to hiss in this potentially dangerous situation, but her teeth clenched out of nervousness as she felt her skin tensing up at the feeling of exposure. She forced composure back in her eyes and with soundless movements she crawled herself towards the edge of the bed. Her heart was racing in adrenaline at the image of an unbeknown figure. _What an upsetting awakening.. _She looked beyond the edge of the bed until her golden gaze lowered on the floor. _Her sword, she needed her sword._

Her eyes drifted at several directions below the bed and it was not long before she had spotted gamuza. She reached down and carefully wrapped her fingers around the hilt without making any noise. Neliel couldn't restrain a drop of sweat from stemming on her cheek as she turned to face the intruder, her mind embroiled in conflict between reason and instinct. She was staring more guardedly with each passing second, uncertainty and mistrust were tightening her grip on gamuza, but in the end, her patience had prevailed. To her utmost surprise, the urge to draw her sword began to deteriorate once her vision fell on what looked like.. _bandages? _Using her free hand she rubbed the remaining fog from her eyes_._

"It's..him.." Neliel whispered inaudibly, the defensiveness in her eyes fading to portray the natural doe.

Suddenly everything had shot back in her head; Ichigo's battles, her transformation, Nnoitra's fall, and, an unexpected survivor.. Neliel closed her eyes and let her face collapse prone on the pillow. Her fingers loosened and her sword dropped back on the floor, causing quite a clatter as the steel bounced off somewhere, but she didn't give much regard to it. Since the moment she had awakened cornered like that, a mental guillotine had been threatening her neck, but no more.. Upon a calm heart rate she was able to remember that the blue haired espada was the very reason she was sleeping in a bed in the first place. Neliel crossed her arms underneath the pillow, silently shifting her face so she could eye him in discretion.

Unlike last night, his spiritual pulse seemed quite more promising, still as weak as one can be, but enough to convince her that his life had escaped peril. She could actually hear him breathe without much of an effort, even though some of his breathing came out with shallow groans due to the heavy stress his body had sustained. Neliel observed most attentively as his thin azure brows would slightly furrow in discomfort, each time bestowing him a brief stubborn frown until he could breathe normally again. He was in pain, no one could doubt that. Surviving such wounds would already be an impossible feat for most arrancars, so he should be just glad that he had cheated death. Neliel's treatment had been applied just in the nick of time, but the rest of his recovery was only up to him.

Aside the matter of his health, there were still essential questions about the espada that Neliel needed to inquire herself. Like, why was she helping an enemy of her friend? Was it because Ichigo had protected him? Was it because her fraccion had decided to not let him die? Perhaps it was both, but still not the answer she was looking for. Back there, the sexta had asked for death. She had refused. Most would have admitted the hopeless situation and surrender to his will, but not her. Even at the most desperate of situations, a small beacon of hope would always stand to fight the shadows. She couldn't let this light go in vain, not without trying to save it. Surprisingly enough, on the blue haired arrancar's face, Neliel could see the reflection of a familiar person.

Ichigo had never needed a reason to throw himself into battle and protect his friends. He would always act out of instinct, even if those instincts wanted him to protect an enemy. When she first transformed to her adult body, one sheer instinct was burning inside her. Inside this instinct, she had found her answer. _Protect him from Nnoitra._

Neliel dispelled all of her mental images with a brief closing of her eyes, then brought her hazel attention on his condition again. She unburied a hand from under the pillow, carefully tracing her fingers over his body to slide off the blanket covering the rest of his bandaged chest. Tacit relief lightened Neliel's reserved concern when she witnessed no blood at all. It was a positive sign for his recovery that the wounds hadn't opened up during their sleep. Her saliva wouldn't be that strong when it came to the extent of his wounds, which meant that for now he should avoid moving as much as possible. She really wouldn't like repeating the healing process over again, especially when recalling last time's complications._._ Fortunately for her, the sexta hadn't moved a hair from where she had left him in bed since last night.

This little convenience was more than appreciated. Neliel picked the blanket to cover the sexta's exposed chest, however, the blanket suddenly stopped midway to reaching his shoulders. The tercera's attention had settled on his sternum, where the lack of bandages bared quite a sight. Indeed, last night she had been able to treat all the painful wounds on his body. All, but one. She knew there was a scar down there, vertically long enough to cross unseen beneath the bandages and wind up on the region of his hollow hole at his stomach. The hazel in Neliel's eyes deepened as she ventured to trail a finger on the interesting wound, momentarily glancing up to his face to make sure the touch didn't disturb him.

Judging from the soft texture of the skin she could tell that it was an old scar. She didn't know much about the sexta, and she probably knew even less about Ichigo, but the two of them obviously shared a past together. The memories residing in 'Nel' were hard to remember, but from what she had kept of the sexta's declarations in the beginning of the battle, he had a bone to pick with Ichigo. That very scar was the source of his hatred towards the young shinigami.

That feeling of hatred had given him a personal motive to fight Ichigo, otherwise he wouldn't have demanded an equal battle at their top notch. The match had heated up right from the start, both sides were giving all they had, but once the panther was cornered, he had taken out his claws. And there he was, dominating the orange haired shinigami and laughing at his inferiority. Standing in the midst of battle he was finally looking down at all from the top, he was the king. One moment victory was at hand, the other he was falling in utter defeat. Finding his resolve in the hearts of his nakama, Ichigo had shattered the dark blue skies of his reign. The panther king saw how fragile his world had been in reality.

He was alone in this battle, whereas Ichigo had his friends to root for him. Nel was cheering for Ichigo too.. If they hadn't cheered for him, the shinigami boy would have most likely been lacerated by the panther's claws. Part of Ichigo's victory was thanks to them.. When a small part inside her felt responsible for what had happened to the sexta, even though quite hesitantly, Neliel slowly reached her hand to his face. Like the gentle bud of a flower, a noble sympathy for this arrancar had been growing inside her.

_Where were his fraccion?.. Had he lost them in battle? Would their presence have helped him overcome this solitude? Her fraccion, her nakama were the ones that saved her when she had woken up bleeding, deprived of her memories, and oblivious to her surroundings. There, on his wounds, his torture, his face, the tercera descried another, nostalgic reflection. The reflection of someone that had once suffered a same fate. _

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_She saw herself_

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"Ugh...W-wait.."

She had completely zoned out in her thoughts, thus when the sexta suddenly started to maunder in his sleep, Neliel blinked rather unprepared. Regardless of her short daze, as soon as she had remarked the sweat dampening his forehead she could tell that this was no ordinary pain. His whole expression was drawn stiff, sharp teeth gritting and creases forming on the corners of the sea-green tattoos as his eyes were shut tight in distress. Neliel drew closer to him, round honey eyes engulfed in curiosity about the sexta's obvious hallucination in his sleep.

"...Kurosaki.."

One simple word, and all the mild interest the green haired girl had garnered for him was ruined. Instead, an inexplicable irritation surged inside her mood as Neliel narrowed her eyes. She glowered him.

"Enough with this childish fetish..!" Her tone came not louder than what her composure allowed.

Sea-green locks snapped over the dormant espada as she quickly shoved away the sheets to withdraw herself from the bed. Neliel stood up and stared him intensively from over her shoulder. She wanted him to wake up; to open his eyes and look at her apologetically. Even after getting him back from the verge of death, all he could still think of were his differences with Ichigo? As the kind shinigami had tried to make him understand after their match was over, he should just learn when to admit defeat and _stop_. It was his own contempt that had almost killed him, and had her, looking after him.

Bringing arms behind her neck, Neliel lifted the locks of wild green hair and let them cascade down her back before starting her feet for the wardrobe nearby. There was still a slight chance that due to the loss of blood and extreme physical exhaustion that his body could suffer hypothermia now that she weren't close to him. One more blanket should be enough to keep him warm. Neliel opened her wardrobe and looked around for the bedsheets. A smile climbed on her lips after spotting them on a lower shelf, then the girl sat on her knees to fold the blanket on her forearm. As she had just returned on her feet to close the wardrobe.. Head to toe, she froze.

Maybe she hadn't noticed it before, but there was an espada uniform hanging just across her. The black waistband draping around the skirt was already enough for her to recognize this outfit. The wardrobe was immediately shut before more details unsettled her. _She was not ready for that, not yet at least._

Neliel headed back to the bed and took her time to envelop the sexta with the additional blanket. It didn't look like he was going to wake up anytime soon. Maybe she could just let him doze off in his slumber while she'd be out to meet with her fraccion. However, whether he liked it or not, her chambers could use some more light. Neliel slightly opened the curtains until the bedroom was showered by the morning.

The tercera's eyes lingered staring at the curtains, for few seconds puzzled with a peculiar question. _She couldn't recall closing the curtains at all last day.. but..__who did it then?.._ Neliel wrapped an arm around her waist, a pensive finger tapping on her chin. Hazel eyes resorted to the door when she had no answer, but a very good idea. Neliel's thoughts roamed back to certain someones.

_"I wonder where Pesche and Dondochakka might be.." _

Just thinking about those two gave her a smile as she decided to march out of the room.

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_I have to say that this is my favorite chapter so far. And yes, Neliel's mornings can turn out like that :3 Anyhow, some interesting questions raised during the chapter, but you'll have to wait till next time to find out.  
_

_**TheLostEspada**_

_26.02.11**  
**_


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